I Didn't Marry My High School Sweetheart
- Lynnie's Lane
- Jul 19, 2018
- 4 min read
Ashley Cory
July 18, 2018
I grew up in a very small town with very big dreams of moving to a big city, becoming a journalist, and living alone in a loft apartment. I have always been an empowered woman with big dreams and drive, even when I was a little girl.
However, there was a brief time when I was a teenager that the empowerment and strength within me was stolen. I had no identity for many years because I had someone telling me what I could and could not do, and who I could and could not be. This person made me feel so unworthy of being loved, and he took any shred of self-esteem I had and destroyed it. When I look back at the dark shell of a person I was during that toxic relationship, I don’t even know who that woman is.
I felt so alone for so long in this dark place, but as I grew and learned I realized that so many women face these same dark challenges. Sometimes you don’t realize you’re being controlled and manipulated and – dare I say it out loud – abused until you meet someone who shows you otherwise. Someone who gives you back your voice and the strength you need to use it.
Enter Chris.
I met Chris in high school when we had seventh period A.P. literature together. During that year, we were placed on senior homecoming court together. I was immediately smitten by his confidence and humor but was very hesitant of men because of my past experiences. He picked on me constantly, but also held doors open for me, and called to see if I wanted to get marshmallow milk shakes from Dairy Queen after school because he knew they were my favorite. We became very close friends very quickly, and I had a huge crush on him. We went to military ball together and prom together without being in a relationship. This man waited eight months to ask me to be his girlfriend. Eight. Months. And do you know why? He waited for me to be ready. He waited for me to begin healing. He waited for me to find parts of myself again, and he helped me put them back together. He waited for me to be whole by myself again so that he could compliment me, not complete me. He waited for my drive, and ambition, and strength to slowly return.

Then he loved me, unconditionally, and in turn taught me to love the woman I am growing into, at every twist and vulnerable turn.
I come with a lot of baggage from past relationships. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. PTSD. Insecurity. Fear of abandonment. Self-esteem issues. Chris takes the time to work through all of that with me, without hesitation. When we met, I couldn’t have anyone stand behind me. I couldn’t have anyone grab my wrists, even in a playful manner. I couldn’t be my weird, goofy, awkward, quirky self because I was afraid he would leave me and find someone “better”. More “worthy”. He took the time, and still takes the time daily, to help me work through all of that, to understand why some things trigger me, and to help me become the best version of myself possible.
He has never once complained that he is dealing with trauma that another person gave to me. He doesn’t look at the past and doesn’t let me look back, and if I do, he grounds me and brings me back to the present. He helps me to look at the future and focus on where we are going instead of letting where I have been and what I have experienced define me.
So, I didn’t marry my high school sweetheart. I married my long-distance college sweetheart. My take me to the top of a mountain in a pick-up truck to see the stars sweetheart. I married my motivator to start and finish graduate school sweetheart. My stay up until 3 a.m. rubbing my back to get me out of a panic attack sweetheart. I married my “let’s talk about the budget for the month” sweetheart. My wake up at 6am just to go on a walk to spend time together before work sweetheart. My makes grocery shopping fun sweetheart. I married my, “let’s paint the upstairs bedroom a neutral color for a future nursery” sweetheart.
He pushes me.
He cherishes me.
He uplifts me.
He prays for me.
He taught me what love is supposed to look like. Patient. Kind. Understanding.
He empowersme.

I have been married to this wonderful man for 2 ½ years and we have been together for 7 years. Every year we grow closer, and we learn more about strengthening our marriage and strengthening ourselves with the support of each other. So while, yes, technically Chris is my “high school sweetheart”, and yes, we were only 17 years old when our relationship began, but as cheesy as it sounds, when you know, you know. Chris is the most kind, caring, and uplifting husband, and I am honored to be his wife and do life by his side.
I cannot wait to watch him become a father and instill in our children the same amazing qualities he has instilled in him. I cannot wait to watch him teach our future son how to treat a partner or teach our future daughter what standards to set for herself. We are growing and learning and experiencing all the wonderful, stressful, crazy things that life can throw at us together, and we are looking forward to all the new adventures that await us in the coming seasons of our lives.
“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go - and then do it.”– Ann Lander
“Life moves forward. The old leaves wither, die and fall away, and the new growth extends forward into the light.”– Bryant McGill
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